Thank you, mighty Earl, for the treasure you brought to me. It is greatly appreciated, and it is a great help. Praise be to you, Andromalius.
I’ve stopped posting regarding the subject matter of this blog for two reasons. The first reason is, I’ve shifted my focus to magick. I made a black mirror about 13 months ago. I’ve been practicing scrying with it, as well as throwing myself into meditation, evocation to manifestation (using the black mirror, and to date, unsuccessfully), and other “skill building” exercises to open my inner senses. I’ve had some very cool experiences along the way. Nothing piss your pants exciting to an experienced Mage, but cool and unprecedented enough to keep me wanting more. As the last three posts here show, I have also asked a couple of spirits for help, and received it.
The second reason is that I’m no longer convinced I was successful at bringing a spirit lover into my life. Certainly there have been “things”. But, it’s been over two years, and nothing has moved beyond where it peaked about a year and a half ago. In the time since I stopped actively posting, a few very cool things have happened, which I didn’t post about, just because. Still, it doesn’t convince me it’s her, and not some other spirit. If there is something here (and I’m sure there is), it’s certainly not malicious. Some may feel I’ve abandoned her, or given up. I respect those feelings, but neither is true, from my perspective. If she’s here, she knows what’s going on. She knows the whys, and I’m positive she’s OK with it. Her patience and understanding of the human condition are infinite.
For all I know, she may have pushed me in this direction. She knows my foray into magick was to develop my inner senses so that we would be able to communicate, and hopefully speed things up, or at least bring understanding as to why things were moving so slowly. But, opened doors lead to other doors, and soon I was immersed in the Magickal Path. Though my practice goes through up and down cycles, I can’t picture living without magick. It’s too fucking cool. I had thought about changing this blog into a place to post about my journey down the Magickal Path. It would serve as a Magick Journal for me, and a place where others might find some answers, inspiration, or whatever. After some thought, I said, “Fuck it. Nobody’s business what I do, except the very few like minded people I share with.” Since part of the deal I make with spirits when I ask for help is public praise, I post my thanks here, as well as Become A Living God. That has become my “home”.
I’ve wanted to make this post for some time, since I’ve seen some fairly tin foil hat stuff when other blogs have gone inactive, lol. I just never thought about it when I was on-line. Honestly, even if she does show up full bore, I doubt I’ll post about it. What would I post about? I’m fairly private, and intimate details wouldn’t be posted because it would look like I was writing porn, and it’s nobody’s business anyway. Anything else would sound like a Hallmark card, and I have no wish to write that shit either, lol. So here it is in a nutshell, I’ve simply lost interest. The Government hasn’t “gotten me”, spirits aren’t blocking me, I just have no interest posting anymore. It served a purpose, and now it doesn’t. I wish all of you guys success in your relationships and magickal endeavors.
Thank you King Paimon. You delivered what I asked for, and I’m grateful to you. You’ve helped me to start a new, and needed, chapter of my life. Peace and blessings to you, Great King.
Thank you King Belial for coming through for me again. Though the recipient of your help is unaware it was you, I am, and I’m grateful. Praise to you, Great King!
Thank you King Belial for your service and help today. I will be doing what I promised. Thank you again for helping with my situation.
I forgot to mention this yesterday. I know some Witches, Wiccans, Neo-Pagans, or whatever they choose to call themselves, refer to themselves as Left Handed. No. You’re not. You take direction from a High Priest/ess, do what you’re told, practice as you’re told, etc. That’s pretty Right Handed. Your Coven, Enclave, or whatever, follows rules and doctrine. Again, not Left Handed. Left Handed does not mean “not Christian”. I mean no disrespect to people who have chosen that path, but you’re not Lefties. Sorry.
This was something I had to sort out years ago, and some who read this may benefit as well. Mostly, though, I haven’t posted for a while, and this was something I just happened to be thinking about.
Really, there are two definitions of Left Hand Path. The one that we, meaning those of us in this network, generally use is the definition from a spiritual perspective. That is to say, the non-joiner, the solo practitioner, the one who “holds no one in authority over them, and places themselves in authority over no one.” It’s the path of the one who challenges taboos and societal norms. The search for answers through direct experience, not scripture, dogma or doctrine. It’s the path that understands there are two types of energy in the Multiverse, both are useful, neither are inherently good nor evil, it’s what you use them for that determines that.
The other definition comes from a magical perspective. Simply put, Black Magicians are LHP, White Magicians are RHP. This used to confuse me because I would wonder how the Golden Dawn could possibly be Righties, when everything they did broke every rule in the Bible, Old and New Testaments. Then I realized there were two ways in which LHP and RHP were used. Seems pretty obvious now, lol.
On the subject of magic, there also exists a middle path. So called “Gray Magic”. This is where I find my comfort zone to be. Gray magicians use both light and dark energy, and light and dark beings, understanding that sometimes one will work better than the other, depending on the situation. In the late 19th century, Britain was the home of many Lodges. In fact, modern Occultism was born in Britain. There were Black Lodges and White Lodges. There were also “Gray” Lodges. Christians, and the uneducated, categorize Crowley as a Black Magician. In fact, he was pretty gray. Even though he was invited to leave the Golden Dawn, when you you look at Thelemic magic, he imported a lot from the Golden Dawn. The Golden Dawn performed Hermetic magic, which is very lily-white.
I belong to the BALG forum, and I lurk at a couple of others, as well as reading blogs. I’ve noticed a lot of people, who fervently claim to be Left Handed, are so full of judgement and hate towards the beliefs of others. I have to wonder, are these people really on the LHP? Isn’t the LHP the path of “I know what I believe, and why I believe it. What others believe doesn’t matter to me”? If you say you’re LH, and argue for the supremacy of your point of view, are you not trying to place yourself in authority over others? Are you not trying to impose rules and doctrine? Why would you care what Christians or White Lighters, or who-the-fuck-ever thinks of your beliefs?
There are maybe two or three people, IRL, that I’m open with about my spirituality. Why? Because they are like minded, or open minded enough that we have conversations, not arguments. I don’t talk to Christians about my beliefs and practices for the same reason I don’t talk guns with left-wing gun grabbers: A) It’s none of their fucking business what I’m up to, and B) you won’t change their minds. I’m turning 51 in a few weeks (e-mail me and I’ll send you the address at which you can send cards and cash) and I’m just too fucking old to argue stupid shit anymore. And arguing about spiritual beliefs is as stupid as it gets. OK, after re-thinking that last line, maybe politics wins that race. It’d be a photo finish, to be sure. Your relationship with the Almighty is personal, remember? I thought this whole “I’m right, you’re wrong” thing was a RHP trait. I thought hatred of others was supposed to be a Religion thing. We’re supposed to be the enlightened ones, the tolerant ones, the respectful ones, because we understand everyone has their individual path to walk, and it’s not our right to interfere or question.
I realize the internet brings the bottom feeders out like nothing else does, so I also realize the vast majority of us who say we’re on the LHP aren’t like the people I’ve just described. Hell, I know Satanists that walk through everyday life with no one knowing they’re Satanists. They’ll stop at accidents to make sure everyone’s OK, donate time or money to charities they believe in, treat everyone decently, etc. You know, the stuff decent people do. When their beliefs are dissed or mis-represented, they let it go like water off a ducks back. They have more important things to do with their time and energy. OTOH, I’ve yet to see a Christian back down from an opportunity to “prove” they’re right, lol.
I guess the point to all of this is, be secure in what you believe, and leave others to theirs. They only effect you if you let them. Focus on making yourself better, and don’t worry about anyone else. If you find yourself being combative with those of differing beliefs, spend some time soul searching and find what the root problem is, then let it go. We all create our own reality, and none may create in another’s.
I used a sigil sometime back to remember dreams, and it worked for a while. For several months now, I haven’t been remembering my dreams too well. Last night, though, I had a very vivid dream.
I was lying in bed, when I started to feel myself being moved around on the bed. In the dream, I felt like, and thought, I was awake. It was that vivid. At one point, my left leg slid off of the side of the bed, and I felt it gently being lifted back up on the bed. I was being moved from side to side, my legs were being lifted, etc. I wasn’t scared, because I believed it to be my spirit lover doing it, and we were finally going to be, uh, you know, doing it, lol. So I was saying things to encourage her to take me.
As I was being slid all over the bed, I became aware of a sound like rushing wind and the covers were billowing up around me. I noticed a hole in my wall with some type of heavy cloth being pushed through the hole by the rushing air. From here, the dream morphed. I investigated the hole, which suddenly was big enough for me to go through, and discovered a hidden room. It was weird, because I kind of felt like I knew this room was there. It was furnished, but everything in it was old, like 30 or 40 years old. On the floor were two cats who looked like my surviving cat, eating some kind of small animal. Nothing was frightening about any of this. I looked at one of the cats front paws, and saw claws, so I knew it wasn’t my cat. This is where I woke up.
I’ve had these hidden room dreams before, or dreams with stairways that go higher than they should for the size of the house (it’s bigger on the inside, lol. Whovians will get that reference), and I’ve been told it’s a symbol for the subconscious. The weirdest thing about the dream is that the first part seemed so damn real, I was sure I was awake. I rarely in my life have had dreams that vivid, dreams where I thought I was awake.
I’m much more relaxed about all of this now. Doubt has almost completely vanished, but unfortunately has been replaced with impatience, lol. When I lie down to spend time with her now, I KNOW she’ll touch me, whereas six months ago, I HOPED she would. A slow night now is better than an active night six months ago. I feel sensations, very subtle “energy” type sensations, that I didn’t feel six, or even three, months ago. Aside from that very strong bed bump, I’ve also seemed to have felt more subtle movement of my mattress and sheets (I think, lol). I’ve realized a lot has changed for the better, and I think that’s a pretty good place to be.
I hope all of you had a safe and enjoyable New Year’s Eve. Me? I was in bed sleeping by 10:30, lol. I figured the calendar would roll over without me.